More thoughts for today

On August 8, 2007, I was full of life. I had lost 45 lbs. and I was proud of myself. I was very happy with the size that I was. I knew I still needed to lose more weight, but I was on my way and very happy. My double-chin wasn't as large and my belly wasn't as big. And the best part....guys were beginning to notice me again!!!! I was happy.

That was two years ago and now I'm miserable with my weight. I'm happy because I have a loving husband who loves me. But I hate my weight. I want to feel the way I felt 2 years ago. I can do it. I know I can do it. I have to do it. There's no turning back. Pray for me.

Day IDK

Bad, bad, very bad. I saw a reflection of myself on Friday on a glass door. I was sitting down and I looked huge. I looked like I didn't even have a head. What's the opposite of being a lollipop? Because that is exactly what I am. I need to lose weight but I don't want to take drastic measures (like surgery). I don't know exactly what is wrong because for the past 2 weeks I have been eating good. It's not totally healthy but it's better than before. I just seem to be gaining weight, even in my sleep. I took a walk today and was very tired afterward. I have also been drinking more water. My goal for each day:

• Drink more water
• Do 100 crunches
• at least 15 minutes of exercise

I hope I can manage to do this. We shall see. I'll try to post more often.

Day 1

Nope, I didn't exercise. I ate good though. Only 1200 calories today. Right now I have heartburn. I think it's because I ate those Hot Fries chips. Already I'm trying to cut corners. I read the nutrition label on the Hot Fries and it said I can have 33 fries for only 150 calories. I was so thrilled! I did have 2 Cokes with my dinner. That's bad. I need to stop with the Cokes. I just don't know how when they're right there in the fridge. Considering I ate Hot Fries and drank 2 Cokes and still managed to only consume 1200 calories, I think I did alright. (I only ate 1 meal and snacked twice.)

Oh My God!!!!! If I'm supposed to eat 3 meals a day with a snack in between and I eat the way I did today, I will be consuming about 3,000 calories a day. I just realized that. I don't think I did so good. This is frustrating. Can I actually lose weight or am I kidding myself????

Weighty Issues

All my life I've been the fat one. You don't have to know how much I weigh to know that I am overweight. Here's the thing...I need to lose weight and a lot of it. I want to be able to have babies someday and be able to run around with them. I know I can't get pregnant while overweight. So I need to try something.....anything.

Every January I say I'm going to lose weight and that this year will be different, but the fact of the matter is that I have never followed through. One year I did manage to lose 45 lbs. in 8 months. But guess what? I've gained most of that weight back.

So I decided to start this blog. I don't know who will read it, but I know in my heart that it is out there on the world wide web for all to see. I'm not saying that this will help me lose weight, but at least it will serve as a journal of what I go through everyday. This is the real me, no lying to myself or to others about my eating and exercise habits. Just the truth of what I face each day. This is the journal of a real woman in her thirties trying to lose weight, the struggles, the triumphs, the defeats, the aches and pains.